Monday, November 24, 2014

This Is Homeschool

Let me preface this by saying I don't believe, in any way, my way is the right way.  My way is the right way for US.  What looks right to us, may look very different to someone else.

We have so many reasons for homeschooling.  It has been an amazing journey thus far.  I have no idea how long we will continue.  We are going to be a year by year type of family.  Years ago (seems so funny to say that, but it's true) I had just become ok with sending our kids to school, for kindergarten, half days.  Then they sent the blasted flyer in the mail saying kids were going to go to K all day, every day.  I nearly cried.  I had not prepared my daughter (or myself) for such a change.  We hadn't done any type of 3 school or preschool.  To send her 5 days a week would have been a monumental change for all of us.  Before August of this past year, Adelyn was enrolled in 3 different schools.  I had a spot being held for us at iCademy.  All the paperwork was filled out.  Doctor's records were obtained.  They sent me a reminder email saying if I wanted my spot held, I needed to turn them in.  For a variety of reasons we decided not to send her.
We also had a spot being held at Calvary.  There she would be going 3 full days a week and home 2.  I still struggled with sending her to K, for that, and then what am I going to do for 1st grade?!  Calling them and telling them to open up our spot was one of the hardest things I had to do.  At Calvary Schools we actually KNOW quite a few of the people there.  We know them and know they aren't crazy.  We love that she would hear about Jesus every single day.  Every hour of every day.  The first time I called, when she answered, I hung up.  The second time I sucked it up and actually said hello back when she said hello first.
We do really appreciate the idea of her having to listen to someone other than "mom."  She needs to know that I am not the only one bossing her around when it comes to this school stuff.  Just because she is home doesn't mean she gets to slack off.  Her going to Holland Christian one day a week has been perfect, for this year.  She gets different teaching styles.  She has other teachers telling her what to do and how to do it.  She is getting peer interaction and having to make her own friends, not friends that we have picked for her, friends by default.  She is learning how to get along with other kids and solve her own problems.  I can't say that we will continue our HC2 journey forever.  Having three kids there (and eventually four) will be really expensive.  I'm not quite sure we will be able to justify it for a long time.  It's one day a week but it is "only" one day a week.  On Wednesday's I'm driving, there and back, to the South side of Holland 3 times.  That's a lot.  She absolutely loves going to school.  She thinks her teachers are great and she has made some really great friends.  
She initially battled with doing school with me.  We finally had a good in depth conversation about why she was struggling so much.  She was under the impression that "all the other kids" were doing crafts and gym 5 days a week.  Here mean old mom was "forcing" her to read, write and do math while everyone else was off having fun.  Once she realized they were at school for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, doing a whole combination of things, she changed her tune awfully quickly.  She has come so far in such a short amount of time.  It has been amazing to see her grow.  It has been really cool to say I have been her sole teacher.  I am the one who taught her to read.  I showed her how to write.  I helped her learn to add and subtract.  Count money and tell time.
Don't get me wrong.  Some days it definitely isn't easy.  I have my days were I wish that I could just send her to school.  But then I would miss all of the other stuff.  For that one bad day every couple of weeks, or that one bad day a week, the other six are great.
There are things I still want to work through with her before I throw her into the real world.  She really struggles with her temper.  If we are being honest, I do too.  I want her to be able to control it and work through it.  I don't want something to happen at school and have her come home to take it out on us.  I want her to be able to talk through it.  Sending her to school full time would be so exhausting.  I would be getting her for the worst hours of her day.  We would be rushed through breakfast, I would send her off to school, get her back around 3:30/4.  We would have snack, eat dinner, she would probably have homework or have to read and she might get to play for an hour before she goes to bed.  In my mind that sounds like a lot of opportunities for melt downs and lots of rushing.  In essence, (in my opinion) the only days I would really get with her are Saturday and Sunday.  Our Saturday's are typically slow but our Sunday's are also filled with rushing around.  We have church in the morning, we may go to a parent's for dinner or to visit, and half the time we have church at night.  She adores church (and so do we ;) ) but still lots of running around.  Church has been another great place for her to learn to listen.  For her to have the opportunity to thrive.  She loves seeing her friends there.  It has been wonderful to watch her make new friends.  She has been really observant about the way other kids are acting.  She typically comes to us first when she has questions.  I love helping her through those things.  Sometimes its hard to answer the way I WANT to answer and the way I should answer.  As a parent, you want so badly for your kids to see things your way the first time, without any additional hurt.  A lot of times they need to come around and see them that way for themselves.  She is starting to do that and it's been really encouraging to see.
I want her to have an opportunity to really develop a relationship with her brothers and sister.  At the end of the day, your family will be there for you the most.  Your friends will come and go but your family will be around forever.  We are most comfortable in our homes and most comfortable with our family.  Our family tends to see our bad side the quickest.  We need to be able to quickly work through that and, hopefully, someday, avoid a lot of those battles.  Myself included.
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