Attempt 1, Day 1::Potty Training B/G Twins

This was my FB status at about 11:15AM::Attempt number 1::epic fail. Although it probably doesn't beat Adelyn's first attempt.. After, literally, spending about 15min of the last 2 hours OUTSIDE of the bathroom, having 5 (4 from J, 1 from B) potty accidents on the floor and, quite literally, touching my son's penis more than I have ever touched a penis in my life I.quit.potty.training. For now. Amanda and Alyson my torch is passed off to you guys. When you are done potty training your B/G twinkies you can potty train mine. Although my FB status is probably slightly inappropriate, now you all know, I tried, we failed, I will try again..someday. Quitting while I'm ahead, people.

To clear up Adelyn's first attempt.  I tried with her probably around the same time I am trying with B and J.  She was about 2 years 1 or 2 months.  I think I started after her nap, one day, and by the time Eric got home (5:30) I was nursing (2) 3 month olds, Adelyn had peed all over the kitchen floor and B and J's playmat AND there was a huge turd on the kitchen floor.  He walked in and I said "I quit" while he cleaned up the pee and the turd.

I have been thinking, for the past month or so, that I need to try with them.  Joelle, could be, very ready.  She tells us when she poops, most of the time.  Brecken, not so much.  Last week I had looked at my calendar and saw an empty week (this week) so I was tentatively planning on it.  When I mentioned trying to Eric he thought I was off my rocker.  I came into this morning gung-ho.  We had bought them new undies at the store last night.  I took the bathroom door off the hinges (the toilet is conveniently behind the door.  So I thought racing two children in, ushering them aside while I try to shut the door and get them on the potty sounded terrible.  So I took it off).  I pulled our (massive) TV over by the kitchen, so Adelyn would have something to do.  I pushed the couch over by the TV, so all the carpet was barricaded off.  I brought over plastic toys to play with.  You know, in case they got peed on.  I filled up their milk cups for breakfast and juice cups for after.  I made breakfast and went and grabbed Brecken and Joelle.

Another thing::I used the normal toilet for Adelyn, when I trained her, and will be doing the same thing with Brecken and Joelle.  I am not getting rid of diapers just to have to empty out and clean a little toilet bucket full of pee/poop.  My two cents...

I took their diapers off upstairs and enthusiastically told them they got to wear undies today like big boys and girls.  We came downstairs and tried the potty, of course, nothing.  Got them in their chairs for breakfast and set the timer to take them again in 15 minutes.  They had milk for breakfast and as soon as they were done they got their juice cup.  I NEVER give juice out so it's a huge treat when it happens.  Lots of liquids=lots of pee.  The timer went off at 15 minutes and we all ran happily to the bathroom.  Nothing.  So I put the undies back on and set the timer for 5 minutes.  We all run happily to the bathroom.  Nothing.  At this point, I know that Joelle has to go because she was been patting herself for a couple minutes.  Usually a good sign.  Brecken, pretty much, never let go of his penis the second I put his underwear on.  Must have been an unusual, unstrapped feeling.  So I keep trying with Joelle.  We sing songs on the potty, I tell her she gets a jelly bean if she actually goes.  Nothing.  So I try again with Brecken.  I am putting him on backwards, to avoid being sprayed in the face.   So every time I put him on the toilet, I'm trying to teach him to hold his penis down and, practically, every time I take him off the toilet and pull his underwear back up, his penis gets stuck in his underwear.  Then I have to put it back in.  Seriously.  I have never thought of these boy things, I tell ya.  Every time someone peed on the floor I didn't make a huge deal out of it, just rushed them to the bathroom and put them on the toilet and said "Don't go potty on the floor.  We go potty in the toilet."  Perhaps not that long..but they got the drift.

I stopped because of the 5 accidents on the floor in the span of 2 hours.  I started a tally sheet of how many times I took them to the bathroom, how many times they went and how many accidents.  There are two slash marks for taking them twice and that's it.  I, seriously, lost track.  An honest guess would be that I put them on about 40-50 times (not each, probably about 20-25 each).  They were starting to get mad about being on the toilet and I didn't want them to get scared of it.  They were having random crying sprees, un-related to the toilet, but I didn't want it to be stressful.  *I* was getting stressed for many reasons.  So I quit.  But I am ok with it.  We tried.  We'll keep doing it at night-time.  And I think I'll wait until summer to try again.  Their vocabulary needs to IMMENSELY improve, as well.

Just in case you were wondering, potty training TWO is much, much worse than potty training one.  Much. Much. Worse.

I am sitting here with my Jalapeno Greek Yogurt Dip and a vat of pretzels, some "skinny" brownies and my water.  And Downton Abbey.  So at least I have taken my binging to a healthy level...

Until next time..