Poop, Poop, Poop

Well folks. Today was most certainly a day for the record books (and, sadly, it's not over yet). I attempted to do a little packing this morning. Just kidding. Sophia cried the whole morning. Adelyn was intent on destroying my house. Finally got both of them down for a nap at 10...ah silence. Precious silence. For an hour. While they are sleeping I realize that Lakota, who is in the house, has poop all over her butt hair. Sick. And she was in my house. Even sicker. She got booted out. Adelyn woke up at 11. I vacuumed. We ate lunch. Played outside a bit. Sophia woke up at about 1:15, the one shining spot in my day, her sleeping for 3 hours. One baby for 2 hours. We played outside some more. Came inside because I realized even with sunscreen on Adelyn was turning pink. I tried to go to the bathroom. Key word folks: tried. I hear Adelyn open the basement door so I call her. She comes running and shes waving two tennis balls around. I'm wondering what that funny brown streak is on her arm. Then I realize she has funny brown streaks on her feet, her legs, her arms, her hands. Poop. Ah yes. Diarrhea. Adelyn does diarrhea quite proud. Since she didn't go yesterday (and she's an every day person) you can only imagine. She has managed to track it all in my bathroom. I go out to change her and see poop on the carpet, poop on the bumbo, poop by toys. I lay her down on the mat and take her diaper off..there was a scant two inches spared in the front. The rest had poopies everywhere. As I'm attempting to clean her up I have a fleeting thought, ok it was more than fleeting, of taking her outside and spraying her off. She sticks her hand in it and proceeds to mash it in her fingers. 1) Because I have her legs in one hand 2) In my other hand is poopie wipes. She wipes it all over her belly and then STICKS IT IN HER MOUTH. Pretty sure I yelled no quite loudly. Then I realize she already has a crusty brown spot by her mouth. Be still my heart, don't quit on me now. I wipe her off the best I could and she got a bath.
Nap time #2 for both babies. Attempting to put Sophia down while Adelyn goes back and forth between the bedrooms. She trips. Crashes face first into the door jam. Already has a small bruise on her cheek..here's to hoping it stays small.
Keep in mind I was in the bathroom for mere minutes. Toddlers are dangerous. I am going to have to start tying her to the chair when I have to go.
And. It's only 4:16. I still have more than a couple hours to go.
Can I get a rain check for today please??